Noble Son

One of the most rewarding moments at 10,000 Fathers is the opportunity to see and experience transformation of individuals over the course of 18 months. In huddle, week in and week out we’ve cried, laughed and sought the Lord together in learning to develop our character and craft. Ryan Hodges from Greenville SC is one these individuals I’ve had the priviledge of journeying with. We wanted to share a brief snapshot of what he wrote during his graduation three weeks ago:

Artwork by Aimee Strickland

Artwork by Aimee Strickland

I was 22 or 23 when I was first introduced to worship school... I was in the middle of an identity crisis, cynical and apathetic. I loved to criticize the things that I deemed fake and looked for things to disagree with. I never planned to do anything helpful with those perceptions or feelings, but would use the superiority I built up in my head to justify the misery I truly lived in. I wanted approval and affirmation, and if I didn't get it, I'd resort to bitterness and resentment. If I had to give myself a name during this time it would have been "entitled boy". 

Through the process of worship school, doing 2 track 1s, digging deep into the lies that the enemy was feeding me about who I was, experiencing more time in ministry; then the many life changing things I've experienced at the same time: getting married to Taylor, my first full time ministry position, pursuing eldership, having my son Asa...

I've seen the kingdom come in the darkest recesses of my heart, it has soaked up the apathy and cynicism and left engagement And vision. Through this long process God has been shaping me into a better disciple, with the desire to make more disciples. I can engage my team and church with a desire for them to live out of their true names...

And that's where I'll end... My true name. My biggest takeaway from worship school has been the identity stuff. I've believed that so many names were mine, only to realize that they were lies. "Entitled boy" was a lie that I lived out of that lie for years. At some point between track 1 and 2, God clearly spoke my true name... No longer did I hear words like entitled, apathetic, or cyclical, but NOBLE... I'd always thought of myself as childish, goofy, and not ready to grow up, but God showed me that it was time to leave boyhood, and embrace sonship, a full fledged SON. No more entitled boy... I am a noble son. A son of the King.  I want to help people see the king and see his kingdom here and now. I turned 28 today... Making it 6 years since I started down this path. As cliche as this is going to sound, I know that this is only the beginning, and I'm thankful and excited to walk this road of living as a son in the steadfast, fierce love of King Jesus, and to invite those around me to join the journey. 

–Ryan Hodges